'NCIS: Los Angeles': The Best of Sam and Callen's Banter in Season 8
'NCIS: Los Angeles': The Best of Sam and Callen's Banter in Season 8
Meredith Jacobs
Meredith Jacobs
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
It might have been a tough season for the team -- and an especially tough end to the season for Sam in particular, with the loss of his wife -- on NCIS: Los Angeles, but it still had its fun moments.

Here's the best banter from Sam and Callen in season 8.

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Bucket Lists in "High Value Target"

Everyone has a bucket list, Sam argued, though Callen insisted he doesn't. Maybe there was just something really personal on his, his partner suggested, and he didn't want to admit it. And then when Callen found what a bucket list is:

Callen: "Those are just things to do."
Sam: "That's the exact point. It's a list of things you want to do before you die."
Callen: "Okay, now that's just morbid."
Sam: "It's not morbid. It's the exact opposite of morbid. It's life-affirming. It's saying, 'These are the things I want to accomplish while I'm still here.'"

Expensive Carpets Should Fly in "The Queen's Gambit"

Callen was pretty vocal about his feelings regarding how expensive carpets are in a store during an investigation, and Sam called him "embarrassing."

Callen: "If I'm gonna pay a quarter million dollars for a carpet, the damn thing better fly."
Sam: "Okay, Aladdin."

Callen Did an Ironman -- Without Training -- in "Black Market"

NCISLA banter Black Market.jpgSam: "What's wrong with you? Get thrown off the mechanical bull at Saddle Ranch again? I told you to lay off the mescal."
Callen: "I didn't go out last night ... Just did a little something yesterday."
Sam: "Oh. Ouch. What, a colonic?"
Callen: "A triathlon."
Sam: "When were you training for a triathlon? You didn't train. So you swam a mile, biked 25 miles, then ran another six without warning your body first?"
Callen: "Well, it was an Ironman, so technically it was 2.4 miles, 112 miles, and 26.2 miles ...  Kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing."
Sam: "All right, so you just momentarily lost your mind and thought you were 20 again? What were you trying to prove?"
Callen: "That I could do an Ironman."
Sam: "Better not affect your performance in the field today."
Callen: "I feel great."
Sam: "I don't want to hear a thing about, you know, your tight calves or your chafed nipples."
Callen: "Well, then you definitely don't want to hear about my rectus femoris."
Sam: "No, I do not. But I do have a question. Did you actually finish?"
Callen: "Of course."
Sam: "Was the sun still up?"
Callen: "O ye of little faith."

Sam's Philosophies in "Ghost Gun"

When Callen declined to go spear fishing with Sam, his partner argued that he'd eat the fish he catches. "I eat steak," Callen pointed out. "I've never killed a cow." Besides, he'd want to use a scuba tank, while Sam thinks free diving is the way to go.

Sam: "Because when you free dive, you learn to control your breathing, your emotions, you earn that time under water. And if you can't stay under, you won't be able to track that fish or to get that shot off, and that white sea bass, it beat you."
Callen: "And there it is."
Sam: "There's what?"
Callen: "I knew you'd have a philosophy about this."
Sam: "Philosophy?"
Callen: "You know, a set of rules, some sort of Sam Hanna code as it relates to catching fish."
Sam: "I like to think about the things I do and the reason I do them."
Callen: "Hold on, you're telling me that you have a philosophy about how and why you create philosophies."
Sam: "Maybe I do."  

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Thanksgiving Gravy in "Glasnost"

Callen: "Just promise me that you're going to restrain yourself this year. That's all."
Sam: "Restrain myself? What are you talking about?"
Callen: "Last Thanksgiving, you cooked three turkeys, half a ton of mashed potatoes, and enough gravy to drown a horse. I was in a tryptophan coma for two days."
Sam: "It wasn't the tryptophan. It was a hangover."

And after Sam jokingly invited Kensi to take Callen's place at Thanksgiving:  

Callen: "Please, you couldn't do Thanksgiving without me. I'm family. I'm Uncle Callen."
Sam: "Yeah, well, you keep complaining about the food, and Uncle Callen's gonna get drowned in that gravy."

Something Was Missing in "Tidings We Bring"

NCISLA banter Tidings We Bring.jpgIt's just not the same when the two aren't working together during a case:

Callen: "You can just say it."
Sam: "Say what?"
Callen: "You missed me."
Sam: "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Callen: "Please. Your little plan backfired. Come on, it's not the same out there without me, admit it."
Sam: "You're right, you're right, you're right. There was something missing."  
Callen: "Thank you."
Sam: "Sarcasm. Backseat driving. Needling. The general smell of fast food."

Carbon Footprints in "Hot Water"

Callen: "It's trash day."
Sam: "Heather's bins aren't out."
Callen: "Well, most people put them out the night before. Unless you're like me and you don't generate any trash."
Sam: "Excuse me?"
Callen: "I have almost no carbon footprint."
Sam: "Coming this fall: An Inconvenient Lie."
Callen: "Joke all you want. Just doing my part."
Sam: "I've seen inside your fridge. Those beer bottles empty themselves?"
Callen: "Those are recyclable. They don't count. Zero."

Workouts and Podcasts in "767"

As the partners discussed their different ideas when it comes to workouts, Callen favored flexibility and mobility.

Sam: "Where'd you hear that?"
Callen: "What do you mean, 'where did I hear that?' What makes you think I didn't come up with that original thought?"
Sam: "Sorry."
Callen: "All right, I heard it in a podcast Anna was listening to."
Sam: "You know, learning something new from experts, never a bad thing."
Callen: "See, you said experts. Therein lies the rub. There are no experts on these podcasts. No degrees or qualifications are needed. All you have to have is a computer, a microphone and some very strong opinions."
Sam: "I'm sure they do their research before each podcast."
Callen: "No, no research."
Sam: "How do you know?
Callen: "How do I know? Because every sentence begins with, 'you know, I read somewhere that...'"
Sam: "Get back to stretching."

Workouts and Seating in "767"

For the undercover operation on a flight, Callen was stuck in coach while Sam got first class:

Sam: "We need to be able to cover the whole plane."
Callen: "Yeah, I get that. I just don't know why you can't be back in coach."
Sam: "I need the leg room. Yeah, don't worry about it, G. Your flexibility and mobility training will come in handy in those tight little seats."
Callen: "Oh, you were just waiting for that one, weren't you?"

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(Images courtesy of CBS)