In the third and final installment of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
season 7 reunion, emotions are running high. Hell, even Lisa Vanderpump gets emotional over her son and her dogs. Kyle's emotional outburst falls on the side of angry and loud, but that's why we needed three parts, apparently.
Lisa Rinna Has a F*** You Buzzer
The action picks right up from part two, as Kim tries to justify her decision to return the bunny. I'd like to pause for a moment to revel in the absurdity of this whole reunion moment. The fight is over a stuffed bunny, for heaven's sake.
Lisa Rinna is so overcome with emotion that she has to leave the set, and Kim gives chase. Rinna flees the scene, and Kim is like a barking dog at her heels. Rinna is legitimately hurt by the bunny thing, saying it was "the most humiliating thing that's ever happened to her." I seriously doubt that, by the way.
When Rinna doesn't accept her apology or her excuses about being "superstitious," they return to the couch, far more cantankerous then when they left. Inexplicably, Rinna pulls out a small little buzzer that has a few choice phrases pre-loaded on it, most of which contain the F-word.
Kyle is Not Kim's Mother
I don't know why everyone turns to Kyle to defend Kim's actions, but she's sick of it. She refuses to apologize for Kim's behavior, and it's around this time that host Andy Cohen brings up the infamous limo scene from 2010. You remember, the one in which Kyle declared Kim as Mauricio's "second wife" and confessed to having financially helped her "every month." Sharp as ever, Andy turns to Kyle and asks, "Isn't this enabling?" Ooooh, burn.
Soon enough, we're back to Rinna's selective amnesia about saying those things about Kim's sobriety. Nobody really believes that Rinna didn't remember -- well, except Eileen. She goes hard on Kim about game night. Eileen claims that Kim "made it weird," which is a bit of a stretch, I'll admit. The best thing about the whole exchange is watching Eileen get all school teacher-y on Kim. She shuts her down properly. Well done.
The Pill Bag Explored
I wish I had a Xanax smoothie while I watching this reunion. If these ladies want us to believe that they aren't all chomping down sedatives whenever they need to, they need to sell that crap somewhere else. Who cares if Rinna eats Xanax? It's so much ado about absolutely nothing.
As if this whole Xanax debate isn't boring enough, Dorit is trying to debate the semantics with us. The word "induced" isn't the same as "intoxicated," apparently, and Dorit says 1,000 words about the thing when she could have only said 10. In short, she denies accusing Rinna of having a pill problem. But we all know the implication was there.
Erika is a Porcelain Goddess of Wisdom
Throughout all that mind-numbing cross talk, Erika just sits and listens. She looks like she is carved out of porcelain and gold leaf, and she's the best thing about this reunion, hands-down. She finally chimes in to save Rinna from the brunt and declares that her pill bag is much more exciting -- and I totally believe her.
Erika uses this opportunity to go after Dorit. She says what everyone is thinking and drills down on the implication of the matter. Sure, Dorit may have not outright said she was an addict, but she definitely orchestrated the story, which was Erika's point -- stop saying things that are going to get blown up.
Eileen isn't Here for Kim's Judgment About Her Job
Eileen confronts all the shade that Kim's throwing about her being a soap actress. Kim won't back down. She stands her ground about a "soap actress" not being a real actor and Eileen being "overly dramatic." I like that Eileen is trying to be hard, but it feels a little anemic.
But on a More Serious Note
Vanderpump doesn't have much to add to the third part until Andy brings up her dog stuff and her son. The quickest way to melt her icy exterior is to talk about those damn dogs and Yulin. She's bawling when Andy even just starts talking about it.
I can't be so snarky about her journey with Max and his search for his birth parents. I can't even imagine the complex set of emotions that Vanderpump must be sorting through, and I won't be snarky about it one bit. Through tears, she admits that she's open to him meeting his mother. But she has such an open spirit about it, and I leave this reunion with a renewed respect for her.
Bits and Pieces
Giggy gives an interview in which he complains about Vanderpump's new dog, Harrison. It's silly, and I suffer through it.
Rinna posted a nude picture to Instagram, but her kids made her take it down. We also get a little look into the rabbit hole that is the Hamlin household, and I feel a little sorry for Rinna's kids. They must live in a constant state of mortification. Case in point: Rinna's story about her narrow hips during childbirth.
There's also a lot of Hadid name-dropping about Rinna's daughters' modeling careers. Rinna goes out of her way to make sure we know she's kissing up to Yolanda, and there's lots
of compliments thrown her way.
Harry's meat is a big hit among the ladies. Erika, especially, is a big fan.
Eileen declares that her intentions are always good, but there's enough eye-rolling on those couches to make me think not everyone thinks that.
Dorit regrets her gift of the underwear and says she has learned about accountability. I hope this satisfies Erika once and for all.
Erika, on the other hand, has absolutely no regrets. And she also wants us to know that everybody needs a little Erika Jayne in their life.
And Kyle cares about everyone.
Did we really just see Kim's true colors or was she pushed into acting that way? Let us know what you think in the comments section below.
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(Image courtesy of Bravo)